A Prank Gone Right
by lillygant
Summary: The Inquisitor decides to pull pranks with Sera, but becomes a scapegoat and has to face her commander.


Sera giggled maniacally as she busied herself with preparing the... rather juvenile traps in Cullen's office. Normally speaking, Celeste wouldn't bother herself with something so trivial and silly.

Well, who's she kidding? She probably would, given the time was appropriate. Although she wasn't sure the climax of all out war was a particularly suitable time, Sera did make a rather good point. While morale was high and their troops were eager to pledge their lives, there was a grim sort of determination of people's faces. She had noticed a lack of laughter and pleasant chats had morphed into hurried, anxious whispers. The tavern was often filled late into the evening, but remained strained and quiet. Corypheus was a looming threat, no matter how many small victories they had managed to achieve against him. If it took a few pranks to get people light-hearted again then so be it... though, she couldn't promise that Josephine was ever going to forgive her.

"Do we even know if Cullen is scared of spiders?" Celeste mused, watching the blonde elf set up the trap which consisted of a ridiculously fake spider designed to spring at whomever opened the right desk drawer. It would be pretty unfortunate if their commander died of a heart attack, but she was willing to take the risk.

"Nah, but this would give anyone a right spook, honest!" Sera exclaimed, straightening up and brushing off her leggings. "Besides, if even you are scared of the hairy little things I figure anyone could be." she paused and shook her head with a snort. "Though, I still think it's friggin' silly that of all things you pick, spiders."

"In my defense, I think I've handled some pretty terrifying things with the utmost composure." Celeste reasoned with a small pout, crossing her arms and huffing.

"Like?" Sera challenged mischievously, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, come on. You were there! Don't tell me you don't remember when-" she was cut off by the sound of the doorknob on the opposite wall turning. Sera shrieked and exclaimed several loud, vulgar expletives as she ran for the free door. Celeste sprung to follow her but just before she was able to make a quick escape, Sera slammed the door from the other side resulting in a dull bang. A muffled, "You did it, not me!" came from the other side along with a quick pattering of footsteps.

"... Inquisitor, is something the matter? I thought I heard someone else in here with you." Cullen spoke confusedly as he entered, a few documents sitting in one of his arms.

"Err – no! No, it's nothing. Definitely nothing." she spoke quickly, sounding flustered.

"Well, it certainly doesn't sound like nothing." the commander mused with a small ghost of a smirk crossing his lips as he crossed the room towards his desk. His free hand moved towards the right hand drawer.

"Wait, stop!" Celeste warned, but it was too late. The fuzzy toy spider slapped Cullen in the face and slid quietly to the floor with a soft squeak. He stood frozen for several seconds before his sharp gaze fell back onto her, looking perplexed. Slowly, he crouched to pick it up glancing with small amusement from the spider back to her.

"Inquisitor, this is something I'd except Sera to do but never in my wildest dreams did I expect such attacks from you of all people." he teased. "Tell me, is this another mission from Andraste herself?"

Her face flushed deeply and her gaze fell from his intense features to the floor. She was extremely thankful that her bangs were able to obscure most of her face. "No, no.. of course not." she muttered embarrassingly, the tips of her long ears tinged red. "It's, well.. it's quite a long story." Her and Cullen had kissed once, right outside of his office against some of the battlements but there still seemed to be an air of awkwardness and uncertainty between the two of them. Neither were exactly sure how to continue.

Cullen set the papers down and approached her, leaning against the corner of his desk. He crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow, "Well, it just so happens that I think I have time to hear a tale as grandiose as that one." he mused.

Celeste rolled her eyes with a sigh, "It's going to make me sound rather silly, though. Wouldn't you much rather let me escape and leave the title of the Inquisitor untarnished? For me?" she pleaded, meeting his gaze sheepishly as she bit her lip.

"Normally I'm obligated to follow your orders, but I think you can humor me just this once – considering I just got attacked by a fake spider on your behalf."

"Ugh, fair enough." she griped grudgingly, "Sera thought everyone in Skyhold was seeming under the weather and could use a bit of cheering up. I mean, you know how she is. I thought I could help morale if I went along with her pranking charade. In retrospect, I... probably should have reconsidered."

Celeste wasn't sure when Cullen had gotten so close, but he chucked as he tucked a stray strand of her snowy hair behind an ear. "No, that probably wasn't your wisest moment." his lips ghosted across her forehead, leaving a small, chaste kiss in their path. "But, lucky for you, I'm feeling merciful today."

She smiled, her hands sliding up to rest on his shoulders. "I suppose I should consider myself lucky then." Her hands brushed gently against the back of his neck as she rose slightly on her feet to press her mouth to his. The kiss had begun innocently enough, but Cullen deepened it heatedly as his hands slid to Celeste's waist, pulling her flush to his chest.

She broke off with a small gasp, her face dusted a soft rose. "Maybe I should prank you more often, if this is the sort of response it elicits."

"Fortunately for you, I think I have a bit more to offer." Cullen broke off, a flash of uncertainty crossing his features. "Unless-"

"No, do enlighten me." Celeste quipped lightly, looking slightly mischievous as she rest a hand on the side of his face. This was a good a time as any to take her mind temporarily off of more pressing matters, something she desperately needed. The thought of having to face a demonic dragon didn't exactly clear stress from one's thoughts.

"I.. Alright." the commander spoke, the anxiety melting almost entirely from his countenance. He sent her a small, impish grin as he broke away from her and crossed the room to sink into his high-backed chair. He gestured towards his lap, urging her to come closer.  
The elf laughed lightly and took a deep breath, approaching him with somewhat false confidence. She settled herself onto his lap awkwardly at first, but shifted into a position where she was straddling Cullen's waist. "Now, are we going to be tackling some of that dreadful paperwork you brought in, or.. do you possibly have other plans?"

"I think Leliana and Josephine can do without our presence for a few moments for once." the commander said softly, running a hand through her hair.

"I quite agree." Celeste giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck and gracing him with a less than chaste kiss. He quickly complied, his large hands sliding from her hair down to the small of her back and coming to rest there. She gasped slightly as he entered her mouth but responded with a hunger she didn't knew she was capable of. She felt Cullen's hands fumbling to undo the row of clasps on her silk shirt and broke the kiss with a gasp, "Need some help?" she laughed.

"I think I'll manage. Though, this does seem to be a more delicate operation than some of our maneuvers at the war table." he joked genially, delicately sliding the fabric off her shoulders. Celeste shivered slightly at the contact of Skyhold's chillier air, she avoided his gaze shyly as the temperature in her face rose and seemed to steal the rest of her body heat.

"Don't let me be the only one baring everything!" the elf snorted in exasperation, humming in content at the way Cullen's hands circled and admired her breasts. Her silk shirt hit the floor entirely as she leaned back against the lip of desk.

"Sorry Inquisitor, they really don't seem to make clothes for convenience anymore." he murmured against the porcelain skin of her neck, leaving a trail of gentle kisses. She gasped loudly and her hips jerked involuntarily against his groin as she felt his mouth encircle the bud of her nipple, teasing it generously. "That- That feels nice." Celeste breathed out in a shaky stutter. She gripped his waist more firmly with her thighs, enjoying the feeling of rubbing herself against the hardness she felt building in his trousers.

"Someone's a little eager." Cullen grinned, amusement clearly evident in his voice. His hands slid from her bosom, stroked down her sides, and met at the clasp of her leather leggings. "Though, I.. I suppose you aren't the only one." he added honestly, as he rubbed her through the pants while was free hand worked on the fastening.

"C-Cullen, please hurry." the elf stammered, feeling herself now grow unbearably warm. A small tiny spark of pleasure blossomed within her that she was eager to continue to satisfy. Growing impatient, she fumbled with the commander's belt, undoing the buckle. "I really need this, _you_."

Cullen slid off her pants in one smooth motion and spread her slender legs eagerly, sucking in a quick breath. "Maker's breath- you, you're.. you're perfect, Celeste." he whispered earnestly, teasing his fingers across her slit, earning a small whine. She let out a desperate groan when he began circling the hardened nub with the tip of his finger and gasped loudly when he applied more pressure.

"S-spirits, please..!" the elf whined airily, her hand delving into his slacks and grasping his now fully hard cock. He jerked instinctively into her hand and quickly supported her fully onto his desk, freeing his length. The commander eased himself into her welcoming, velvet entrance and hissed in relief.

Cullen started out at a slow pace but his thrusts became deeper and more frequent as the Inquisitior's keening and eager cries became more frequent and encouraging. Her hands scrabbled through his hair as she let out a deep moan, legs tightly encircling his waist. "Aah.. d-don't stop, Cullen!" her hips thrust upwards to meet his own, allowing him to delve deeper within her. Celeste's hands were teasing her own breasts, playing with the hardened nubs as her hips met his desperately.

The commander slid a hand down and rubbed her clit firmly in accompaniment with his pace. The touch sent her over the edge and she let out a strangled gasp and dug her nails deeply into his neck, her walls clenching around his length. Cullen came roughly with a groan within her, a few wild thrusts finishing him off.

Celeste breathed heavily for few moments, her arms falling to her sides on the desk as her chest heaved. "Well, commander... we should.. I- I'll have to pull pranks on you more often, I think." she grinned breathlessly, sitting up to greet him with a deep kiss.

Cullen leaned on the desk, his arms supporting him. "I couldn't agree more, Inquisitor." he met her lips just as eagerly as his mouth curled into a satisfied smile. 


End file.
